“Why am I Never Happy?”
– the Hedonic Adaptation
Hedonic adaptation (aka the treadmill) is a psychological phenomenon where people quickly return to a stable level of happiness despite significant positive or negative changes in their lives. Essentially, after experiencing something enjoyable, like winning the lottery, buying a house or starting a new relationship, the initial excitement fades and we often find ourselves seeking out new sources of pleasure.
Why does this happen?
• Dopamine and the reward system: When we experience something pleasurable, our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good. Initially, this surge can be intense. However, as we repeatedly encounter the same stimulus like a new car or a vacation, our brains start to adapt. The dopamine release diminishes and we need more significant rewards to achieve the same level of happiness.
• Examples of hedonic adaptation:
– Winning the lottery: Many lottery winners report feeling ecstatic at first, but studies show that after a few months, their happiness levels often return to what they were before the win.
– New relationships: The excitement of a new romance can feel electrifying at first. However, over time, partners may take each other for granted, leading to a decrease in the initial happiness.
Signs of hedonic adaptation
• Loss of excitement: If you notice that things that once made you happy now seem ordinary or boring, this could be a sign.
• Constantly seeking new rewards: If you find yourself always wanting the next big thing to feel happy, you might be experiencing hedonic adaptation.
Famous research on happiness
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which tracked the lives of individuals over 75 years, found that the strongest predictor of happiness is not wealth or fame, but rather authentic human connections. Relationships that provide support and companionship lead to lasting joy.
What truly makes us happy?
• Building authentic relationships: Spend quality time with friends and family. Deep connections provide emotional support and happiness that can last.
• Helping others: Engaging in acts of kindness, volunteering or supporting a friend can enhance your mood and create a sense of purpose.
• Gratitude practices: Regularly reflecting on what you are thankful for can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you appreciate.
Find out more about rewirements – social connections, other-orientedness, gratitude, savoring, exercise.
Understanding hedonic adaptation can empower you to seek deeper and more fulfilling sources of happiness. Remember, joy often comes not from fleeting pleasures but from lasting connections and meaningful experiences.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama
“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” – Mark Twain