Boundaries – Healthy vs. Toxic

Boundaries are essential elements of healthy relationships and personal well-being. They define the limits of what we are comfortable with and what we will accept from others. Establishing and maintaining clear boundaries helps preserve mental health, foster respectful interactions and promote a balanced lifestyle.

Boundaries are the personal limits we set regarding our physical, emotional and mental space. They signify where one person ends and another begins, guiding how we interact with others and how we manage our own space. Boundaries are critical for preventing burnout, ensuring self-respect and nurturing interpersonal harmony. Think of your boundaries like the skin on your body. Just as your skin protects your internal organs from harm, infection or injury, your boundaries safeguard your emotional and mental well-being.

Signs of poor boundaries

Common manifestation of poorly established or breached boundaries include:
• Emotional overwhelm: Feeling drained or stressed due to others’ demands.
• Resentment: Experiencing frustration or anger towards others for overstepping limits.
• Difficulty saying NO: Struggling to refuse requests or demands, leading to overcommitment.
• Intrusion: Others violating your personal space or privacy.
• Confusion: Uncertainty about your own needs or limits, causing discomfort in relationships.

Coping strategies

• Assertive communication: Clearly express your needs and limits without guilt. Use “I” statements to convey your feelings and boundaries.
• Self-reflection: Regularly assess your needs and limits. Understanding your own comfort zones helps in setting appropriate boundaries.
• Practice saying NO: Build confidence in denying requests that overextend your capacity or violate your limits.
• Seek support: Engage with a therapist or counselor if boundary issues are significantly impacting your well-being.
• Create space: Allocate time for self-care and personal activities to reinforce your boundaries.

Remember the 3 communication styles and aim to be in the middle: passive / assertive / aggressive.

Understanding and respecting boundaries is crucial for fostering healthy relationships and maintaining personal well-being. By defining and communicating your limits clearly, you create a foundation for more respectful and fulfilling interactions.

“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none.”  – Unknown

Related articles: Burnout, Communication