Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where one person seeks to make another doubt their own perceptions, memories or reality. This insidious behavior undermines the victim’s confidence in their own mental state and can lead to significant emotional and psychological distress. The term “gaslighting” originated from the 1938 play Gas Light and its subsequent film adaptations, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by dimming the gas lights and denying the change.

Gaslighting involves the systematic undermining of a person’s perception of reality. It’s a form of emotional abuse where the perpetrator consistently denies, manipulates or distorts facts, making the victim question their own memory and sanity.

Signs

• Denial of facts: The abuser denies or contradicts events or conversations, making the victim doubt their recollection.
• Blame shifting: The victim is blamed for things they did not do or are accused of being overly sensitive or irrational.
• Manipulation of information: Providing false information or misrepresenting facts to confuse or disorient the victim.
• Isolation: The victim is isolated from friends and family to reduce support and validation from outside sources.

Types of gaslighting

• Covert gaslighting: Subtle, often unnoticed behavior where the abuser uses indirect methods to manipulate.
• Overt gaslighting: A more direct form of manipulation, such as lying or accusing the victim of irrational behavior.
• Systemic gaslighting: Institutional or systemic abuse, where organizations or social systems perpetuate misinformation or discriminatory practices, contributing to individual gaslighting.

Coping strategies

• Seek support: Engage with trusted friends, family or mental health professionals to gain perspective and validation.
• Document evidence: Keep a record of interactions and events to provide clarity and support your reality.
• Set boundaries: Clearly define and enforce limits with the gaslighter to protect your mental well-being.
• Educate yourself: Learn about gaslighting and its effects to recognize patterns and validate your experiences.

Be aware of the Power and Control wheel versus the Equality wheel.

Gaslighting is a pervasive issue that can have devastating effects on individuals’ mental health and well-being. Recognizing its signs and employing effective coping strategies can empower victims to reclaim their sense of reality and pursue healthier relationships.

“The goal of gaslighting is to confuse and disorient the victim to the point where they lose confidence in their own judgment.” – Stephanie M. McKinney, The Gaslight Effect